The Scottish Boinc Team

Stargazer Pete

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow...

Stargazer Pete

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist...

Stargazer Pete

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything they desire of mine, to the ...

Stargazer Pete

A poor man told his wife, I am sick and tired of being poor, I am going to work overseas. So, he took off to Africa. A few years later, he returned. As he approached his house he got stunned with the luxurious and rich look of the house. He knocked on the door, the servant opened. "Is the house...

Stargazer Pete

Congratulations Cruncher Pete!

You earned Silver star badge from project SRBase (Credit)

Stargazer Pete

Three nuns died and visited St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said he would admit them if they each answered one question.He turned to the first nun and asked, "Who was the first man?""Adam," the nun confidently replied. The trumpets sounded and the angels sang as the gate...

Stargazer Pete

There was a poor old Irish cobbler whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Mike, the Irish gent, would go out the back of his shop and eat his soda bread and maybe a kipper or piece of Irish blue cheese while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the...

Stargazer Pete

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preache...

Stargazer Pete

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tel...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher. "Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even kn...

Stargazer Pete

Sister Margaret was a model nun all of her life, until she was called to get her just rewards. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret...not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was ta...

Stargazer Pete

A man walks into a store and he saw a thermos. The clerk walks up to him and asks, "May I help you with anything?" "Yea! What is that?" "Why that's a thermos!" "What's it do?" "It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!" "I'll take it" T...

Stargazer Pete

One dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitti...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

A blonde was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe r...

Stargazer Pete

Three priests died and came up to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looked up the priests and informed them there had been a mistake; they were not supposed to die for another 10 years or so. The priests were upset about this and asked St. Peter what could be done. St. Peter said that he woul...

Stargazer Pete

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, gett...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you thi...

Stargazer Pete

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asth...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. “You know what a foreman is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches the other men work?” “What’s that got to do with it?” he asked. “Well, he just got jealous of me,” Uncle Joe explained. “Everyone...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. Wha...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

I took a stuffed dog to the Antiques Roadshow and was told, "This is extremely rare. Do you know what it would fetch in good condition?"
"Dunno," I said. "A stick?"

Stargazer Pete

A big-shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came...

Stargazer Pete

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down d...

Stargazer Pete

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road, and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. He st...

Stargazer Pete

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” sai...

Stargazer Pete

After 3 hours since start of this sprint, nothing changed. I have seen no change in this teams participation. I am returning to Boinc@Australia.

Stargazer Pete

Are we not participating in this sprint. After 2 hours WE are not listed and neither is any of our users.

Stargazer Pete

Time to relax after a hard days work.

Stargazer Pete

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his life and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”His son asked, “But what happened to the flea?”

Stargazer Pete

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. ...

Stargazer Pete

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him int...

Stargazer Pete

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she...

Stargazer Pete

For Miklos

Stargazer Pete

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye...

Stargazer Pete

Stargazer Pete

I know that nobody asked for my opinion, but I am going to give it anyhow. Currently we are running two challenges at the same time. Formula Boinc and Pentathlon. I noticed that for a while we were first in FB, until the Pentathlon started a few days later than we dropped to 4th in FB and after a fe...

Stargazer Pete

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "...

Stargazer Pete

Penthatlon is one Chalenge in hole year ... and FB lasts ... a year ... so if I may ask ... we should ... take a chance to Win Pentathlon ... and concentrate Efforts on FB after ... A "Win" ... regards, Gregg Roman Granowski That is good enough for me. You are obviously crunching the Pent...

Stargazer Pete

05/05/2023 05:00 UTC to 05/08/2023 04:29 UTC. Einstein. I have joined this challenge today as asked to help. I have 11 Computers running as much as they can take but I have noticed that 4 of our team members have almost stopped crunching in the last hour. What is going on, have I missed a post somew...

Stargazer Pete

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night. "I realize...

Stargazer Pete

I must be getting too old for this shit. I was unable to kog in and did not receive an email on forgotten password. I Changed Browser and now I am logged In.

I will have 10 computers on Einstein as soo as I set them up.

Stargazer Pete

International Firefighters' Day (IFFD) is observed on May 4. Check out some firefighters jokes. What happened to the firefighter who wasn't doing well in his job? He got fired! Daddy, which letter firefighters hates the most? R, son. What do cops and firefighters have in common? They both wanted to ...

Stargazer Pete

OK. I am now logged in as Cruncher Pete.

Stargazer Pete

Two men, sentenced to die on the same day, were led down to the room where the electric chair was. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, &quo...

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