From the Web

General News and Banter all users and guests can see this forum.
Forum rules
Welcome to The Scottish Boinc Team boards. See forum rules in pinned post. If you can't be bothered then try not to be too naughty as I have a delete button to press and a ban hammer to swing.
User avatar
PShane of TSBT
Boinc Brigadier
Boinc Brigadier
Posts: 2062
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:32 am
Location: Honorary Resident of Anguilla by proxy.

#1 From the Web

Post by PShane of TSBT » Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:57 am

Image

User avatar
PShane of TSBT
Boinc Brigadier
Boinc Brigadier
Posts: 2062
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:32 am
Location: Honorary Resident of Anguilla by proxy.

#2 Re: From the Web

Post by PShane of TSBT » Wed Jun 03, 2020 2:58 am

Save the Planet.

Maureen Gow Zelmer
25 May at 03:21

One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world; one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks. “What’s this?” she asked.

“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”

“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .

“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
"Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.

“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel, Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing - being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”

This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in; but a day that will save the planet.

Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.
Image

User avatar
Dirk Broer
Corsair
Corsair
Posts: 1545
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:24 pm
Location: Leiden, South Holland, Netherlands
Contact:

#3 Re: From the Web

Post by Dirk Broer » Fri Jun 05, 2020 1:54 am

Imagine a day without electricity....an hour already seems absolute horror.
Image

User avatar
Alez
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
Posts: 9742
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:22 pm
Location: roaming the planet

#4 Re: From the Web

Post by Alez » Sun Jun 28, 2020 9:47 am

The best form of help from above is a sniper on the rooftop....

User avatar
scole of TSBT
Boinc Major General
Boinc Major General
Posts: 4972
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 2:38 pm
Location: Goldsboro, (Eastern) North Carolina, USA

#5 Re: From the Web

Post by scole of TSBT » Fri Apr 02, 2021 11:50 pm

Any of you lads in the UK catch this on the news?
yorkshire.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Image

pinhodecarlos
Boinc Colour Sergeant
Boinc Colour Sergeant
Posts: 207
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:22 am
Location: Milton Keynes, UK

#6 Re: From the Web

Post by pinhodecarlos » Sat Apr 03, 2021 7:59 am

Haha
SETI.USA member

User avatar
Alez
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
Posts: 9742
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:22 pm
Location: roaming the planet

#7 Re: From the Web

Post by Alez » Sat Apr 03, 2021 8:53 am

pinhodecarlos wrote:
Sat Apr 03, 2021 7:59 am
Haha
It's not a laughing matter. I've heard it may take " up north " at least 5 years to recover !!! Rumours of a shortage of whippet food has already almost caused riots :o

pinhodecarlos
Boinc Colour Sergeant
Boinc Colour Sergeant
Posts: 207
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:22 am
Location: Milton Keynes, UK

#8 Re: From the Web

Post by pinhodecarlos » Sat Apr 03, 2021 9:09 am

I can already see riots here in Milton Keynes.
SETI.USA member

User avatar
Megacruncher
G.L.S.B.
G.L.S.B.
Posts: 4163
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 11:33 pm
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Contact:

#9 Re: From the Web

Post by Megacruncher » Sat Apr 03, 2021 7:48 pm

:lol:

This is the version of the same picture a friend sent me yesterday.

Image

[For those unfamiliar with Edinburgh's suburbs, Wester Hailes is an ill-starred area thru which the scenic Union Canal runs but which otherwise has very little going for it.]
Willie the Megacruncher
Image

User avatar
Alez
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
[ TSBT's Pirate ]
Posts: 9742
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:22 pm
Location: roaming the planet

#10 Re: From the Web

Post by Alez » Sun Apr 04, 2021 9:19 pm

If it's the Union canal the boat is probably stranded on drowned shopping trolleys :lol:

Post Reply Previous topicNext topic

Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests